There’s only one way to review a Formula 1 race. QUARKS.

Up

A three-stopper for Jenson Button didn’t work, losing out to his team mate, Hamilton, and also Rosberg in the final stint. It worked out better for Sebastien Buemi though. He too lost a couple of places in the last few laps, but still finished in 9th from P16 on the grid. By means of comparison, Alguersuari in the other Toro Rosso started one place behind, but finished 16th after four stops.

The other man on the up, as widely expected, was Kamui Kobayashi, who started at the back of the grid after technical problems meant he couldn’t set a time in qualifying. He ended up in 10th place, and had an overtaking heavy race as we’ve come to expect from the Japanese delight. He three-stopped too.

Down

It was not a good race for Michael Schumacher. Shortly after the start, he didn’t leave Petrov any room on corner entry, and the resultant contact was inevitable – and pretty much Schumacher’s fault. After a pit stop for a new nose, the race continued in the same vein, Schumacher not acquitting himself terribly well in close quarters with other cars. A richly deserved zero points for 12th place.

Charm

Martin Brundle does not charm his way around the grid walk, particularly when it comes to RTL’s Kai Ebel. At least with Sky Germany’s Tanja Bauer, there’s a bit of friendly banter amongst the interview barging.

Ebel just seems to like getting in the way when Brundle is broadcasting live, and of course Brundle isn’t afraid to vent his frustration on air. He’s a “nuisance” apparently. He certainly appears to be a bit of a ponce, if his website is anything to go on.

That lack of charm contrasts sharply with Sebastian Vettel, who was the subject of today’s Brundle vs Ebel bout. He managed to enjoy the media in-fighting, speak intelligently to both interviewers, and talk rubbish with Brundle about Toblerone. He’s a remarkable chap.

Strange

Pit radio messages are becoming ever more interesting. In qualifying we had the intrigue of Mercedes telling Schumacher to use the “magic paddle”, which seems to be a sort of short-cut button to change a number of bits and pieces at once. The race was disappointing though, with McLaren and Mercedes both joining Red Bull Racing in using a tedious “plan B” system. F1 teams, please try harder.

Top

Sebastian Vettel is a bit good, isn’t he? Pole position, race win, and only one lap – after his first pit stop – not leading the race.

Bottom

Poor Timo Glock. He must be wondering what the hell he’s doing at Virgin Racing. The team is making hard work of beating the hugely under-prepared Hispania, and on his way to the grid today he lost fifth gear, and the team couldn’t get the car out for the race. Surely there are only two options: Virgin makes a big step forward, or it’s Glock’s last season with the team. The latter seems the more likely.