For no good reason, I’ve decided to summarise Formula 1 races this season by means of handing out flavours of quark. We begin, then, with the Australian Grand Prix.

Up

The new BBC TV commentary team is an immediate improvement. I didn’t have any great problem with Jonathan Legard, but Martin Brundle has had a smooth transition up to lead commentator. David Coulthard alongside him naturally has room for improvement after just his first race, but to my mind his close relationship with Brundle makes up for any failings at this early stage.

Down

It wasn’t a great strategic race for McLaren and Jenson Button. Which, after some inspired calls last season, is a bit of a surprise. When Button overtook Massa by going off track, it was obvious that he needed to immediately give the place back. But instead of doing that, Ferrari ensured a penalty went Button’s way: Alonso got in front of Massa, and Massa pitted. Button recovered to 6th.

Charm

It’s fantastic enough that Sergio Perez worked his way up from 13th on the grid to finish 7th and score points on his F1 debut for Sauber. But to do that by one-stopping – against all predictions of three to four pit stops – was absolutely inspired. It’ll be fascinating to see who tries something similar in the future.

Strange

The reaction to the DRS (drag reducing system, adjustable rear wing – whatever you want to call it) has been bizarre. Button on Massa was the first time we saw it used on TV, and it was immediately dismissed on Twitter as useless because the move was unsuccessful. Proof of one, anyone? Even when we saw it work for Alonso later in the race, the move was equally quickly dismissed as unexciting. I’m not sure the DRS is particularly worthwhile, but come on people, it’s not the devil.

Top

Who put money on a podium for Vitaly Petrov? Well done, rich-o! How fantastic is that? For Renault, for Petrov, for everyone. The fact that it was Alonso right behind him at the end of the race only made it more wonderful.

Bottom

What the hell was Nick Heidfeld doing? He qualified 18th to Petrov’s 6th, and ended up 14th of 16 finishers. I hope he’s been useful developing the car, otherwise Renault are going to wonder why they bothered with him.

UPDATE: Perez (and Sauber team mate Kobayashi) were subsequently excluded from the result for a tedious technical infringement. Rubbish!